My weekly doings
Poor Dimitri, my friend and choreographer, has had a succession of interesting jobs. He was a door to door brain surgeon, Mount Everest tour guide, and Head of Intelligence at the White House (the pub in East Grinstead). Now he has steady part time position as coronation programme seller he can devote more time to my ballet doings.
Last Monday we were rehearsaling for my one woman show, “King Kong –The Ballet when producer, Anatole, looked in and cast aspersions on my boobles. (rhymes with roubles-Russian currency in case you did not know). He say they are too small and must be bigger to attract male audience. I tell him I am artistic artist not a nudity person. He says I need implants and must see plastic sturgeon. I tell him where to go in no certain terms. He goes.
Tuesday morning. Whilst rehearsaling Morris dancers arrive in full regalia. They say Anatole hired them for act one scene four to relieve tedium when no one is speaking in ballet sequences. In coffee break we discuss disgraceful amount of nudity on Radio 4 when children are listening. I tell them about my role in Rodgers and Hammersmith’s “South Pathetic” in 1956 when I had to bathe in water tank in altogether.
Wednesday.
Day off. Olga and I go to hide in park followed by Morris dancers. If only we could find Morris we could complain. Their jingling little bells on their knees make a racket and their staves are a health and safety hazard. They follow us into Sainsburys and treat us to packet of biscuits. All this suggests that they are trying to get off with us. The one in the green jodhpurs is interesting and I give him one. One biscuit that is, in case you got ideas.I buy book on how the pas de deaux on your own.
Thursday.I put my doings in verse to make fascinating:
An invite comes from number ten,Dave says “Come to Dinner”
I get a little drunk, tell Mr C he should be slimmer
I take off my bi-focals and fall over Michael Winner
Everything happens to me.
I buy a new computer, I send E mails by the score
It’s got a lot of icons, but I don’t know what they’re for
I clicked on one and watched the couple making love next door
Everything happens to me.
Friday Deal with E mails, letters and postcards most saying nice things but some are not so nice. Man from Chorlton Cum Hardy asks why I wear such a short tutu. To show off lovely Russian legs of course. Someone asks how I come to be named Natasha. Well, Nosey Parker of Chorlotn Cum Hardy,if you Google me you see lots of people with name NATASHA living in Ohio. Don’t ask me why. Notice all my correspondents live in Chorlotn Cum Hardy. Must organise fan club there.
Saturday. Make big decision. Too many American towns have own song. Must do competition to rename songs to British towns. More on this later.
Sunday Nasty accident. Stocktaking my handbag and fell in. It took five firemen to get me out. See you all next week NAT
Until next time Slobadon to all and one. NAT
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